I Make Curly Fries Look French

Written during my Starbucks days, I stumbled upon this old thing and had a laugh. Here it is…

“I work at Starbucks.  The same people come in every single day, they order the same thing, and they talk about the weather.  If the topic is not about what the weather is doing, then it is what the weather is going to do tomorrow.  Every once in a while, there is a glimmer of hope for conversation when a new face arrives, but then they walk through the door and go, “wow it is cold out there!”  Often customers remark at my energy level, crazy attitude, curly hair, and positive outlook.  Sure I’m energetic, I am certifiably crazy and my curly hair makes curly fries look French, but that whole, “you are such a positive thinker,” remark drives me nuts at times.  What happens when I have a bad day at work?  Am I not allowed to be mellow, normal, straight haired and negative?  Instead of the peppy, “Good morning Bob! How’s the sunshine? Here is your usual foamy nonsense drink (laughter) did you read the weather section in the newspaper today? It’s going to be a rainy one but anyways, have a lovely day,” it could be, “Hi, what do you want? Tall non-fat latte?  Your total is $3. Bye.” I want to have a negative day.  I’d talk about bad breath and people who don’t floss, slow walkers, communism, terrorism, love handles, smelly people, people who are obsessed with their cell phones, fat people wearing tight clothes, people who wear sunglasses inside, Nancy Pelosi, butt chins, Barack Obama, fake designer stuff, nursing homes, liberalism, shriveled grapes, the tolerance movement, Michelle Obama and her vacations, laziness, too much makeup, Toyota, people who drive Toyota, wet towels, old eggs, bad posture, huge side burns, highlights, peace signs, country music, tie-dye, saggy things, gas prices, the name Bridgette, the name Gary, elevator music, illegal immigrants, Obamacare, goosebumps, time wasters, snoopers, whiners, strippers, nose pickers, snifflers, mouth breathers and mumblers.  That’s what I want to talk about. 


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